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Fan (1981)
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by Paramount
Sales Rank: 23530
Price: $14.95
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Lauren Bacall brings poise, dignity, and steely defiance to this entry into the 1980s slasher film genre. Her aging silver-screen and Broadway star is so stressed by her musical theater debut and jealous of her ex-husband's (James Garner) marriage to a lovely young thing that she misses all the stalker warning signs. Before she knows it, one obsessive fan (Michael Biehn) lets his fantasies spill over into psychosis. "We will become lovers very soon, my darling. And I assure you I have all the equipment," he writes before slicing up her friends. It calls for the elegance of Brian De Palma, which dutiful but dull first-timer Edward Bianchi can't provide. The pleasures come from sassy gal Friday Maureen Stapleton and Ms. Bacall, whose grace under pressure and cinematic confidence lend dignity to the proceedings. Pino Donnaggio's ominous score recalls Bernard Hermann's work with Hitchcock. Marvin Hamlisch and Tim Rice provide the show tunes. <I>--Sean Axmaker</I>
Viewer Reviews
With her patented haughty glare, overconfident Lauren Bacall transparently thinks that she's outclassing this formulac slasher flick, and single-handedly she turns it into a prime slice of "Trash Yourself Cinema." An aging Hollywood glamour queen better known for her former show biz husbands and her digs in a landmark apartment building than for any of her creaky, Broadway musical "star vehicles," Bacall here is playing --- how did you know? -- precisely that. When sevants sing "Happy Birthday," Bacall snaps, "As of today, I'm going to be forty-five forever." Secretary Maureen Stapleton mutters, "Forty-nine," and Bacall admits to "Fifty," but since none of these figures seem remotely plausible, it's all the stranger that young, hunky Michael Biehn sends mash notes that blather, "We'll be lovers soon and I have all the necessary equiptment to make you very happy."
Stapleton writes back, admonishing Biehn's "tasteless pornography," making Biehn worry -- in voice-over, to us -- about Stapleton's "possessiveness," asking, "Has it ever occurred to you that she might have lesbian tendencies?" Bacall snarls at Stapleton, "We've had lots of weirdos. What about the guy who kept trying to jump into the taxi with me? DOn't upset my fans." Stapleton (who has the upper hand because she can act) replies, "Did it ever occur to you that my job isn't exactly heaven? [meaning, presumably, costarring with Bacall] I'm a Secret Service escort, a butler, a nurse, a letter-writing machine, a floor mop . . . ten, twelve hours a day!" While we're mulling that one over -- "a floor mop"? -- Bacall simpers, "What would I do without you?"
Cue Biehn to start rampaging around with a razor, slicing up Stapleton, Bacall's maid, and even the choreographer of Bacall's new show. The loss of the latter certainly helps explain opening night of the musical: Your jaw will drop as one tough-to-top, insane routine follows another, with sparkling chorus boys praising -- in "you've never heard of 'em before, you've never heard of 'em since" tunes by Marvin Hamlisch and Tim Rice -- the charms of the ageless Bacall. (The show is, of course, a triumph.)
Later, Biehn chases Bacall -- swathed in an evening gown -- through the empty theater. Finally he stands over her, razor in hand and Bacall snaps, "You're pathetic. Here's your chance to be like one of those hoodlums who kill their victims for nothing, a thief who murders little old ladies for a quarter. Don't you think the world's had enough of people like you? I've had it," and -- having apparently monologued him into submission -- she grabs the razor and kills Biehn, then exits the theater, heading for her opening night celebration.
The movie warns, "Think twice before sending fan mail to Lauren Bacall," but after seeing her hammy self parody here, who'd want to?
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Fan (1981)
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