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Heart Condition
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by New Line Home Video
Sales Rank: 38503
Price: $17.99
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A racist LAPD officer loses his girlfriend to a black lawyer. When the lawyer is murdered, his heart is transplanted into the officer, who has just suffered a heart attack. When the officer awakens from the transplant, he finds the lawyer's ghost is his constant companion.
Viewer Reviews
I should have known that this was going to be pretty bad, but I was blinded by the idea of Bob Hoskins and Denzel Washington doing a movie together. Sure, neither are especial favorites of mine, but both are very fine actors who generally hold my interest and entertain me. After watching this dreadful film I read that Washington soon after fired filming fired his agent (who was responsible for coercing him into doing the film) and I completely understand why. Luckily this film didn't really hurt their careers (every actor has one or two skeletons haunting their resumes) but this is surely the lowest point for each of them.
The idea behind `Heart Condition' is one that has been tampered with before and done much better at that. Hoskins plays Police Officer Jack Moony. He's a racist and a slob and suffers from a heart attack that will kill him unless he gets a heart transplant. Washington plays Stone, a lawyer whom Moony despises who winds up killed and since Moony and Stone are `blood brothers' (in that they share the same blood type) Moony ends up with Stone's heart. He gets more than a heart though; he also gets Stone's soul or ghost that follows him everywhere he goes. Stone is convinced he was murdered and so he tries to get Moony to investigate and find his killer. Moony is hesitant, because he racist and hates Stone, but he eventually gives in mainly because he knows that Stone won't leave him alone until he does.
The acting is decent at best. Hoskins is good at playing the gruff tough guy and at times channels a DeVito quality that makes even the simplest gesture funny. He feels forced and muddled here though. There are maybe a handful of funny scenes, maybe even less than that, and Hoskins winds up coming off as a watered down version of his iconic `Who Framed Roger Rabbit?' performance. Washington is not in his element here (it's hard to believe he had just won an Oscar for `Glory' when you watch this film) but he tries, as does Hoskins, to elevate the film. Neither of them can, but try they do so they deserve some props for that.
Chloe Webb delivers an atrocious performance as escort Crystal Gerrity. Crystal is the romantic interest for both Moony and Stone and she also knows a thing or two about Stone's murder. Predictable, I know, but what else would you expect. As formulistic or gimmicky as her character is, her performance could have at least been palatable. It is not. Her performance is a terrible mess.
I can't in all good sense recommend this movie to anyone. The plot is contrived, the acting is sub par and the script is ridiculously unfunny. It had the potential to really be funny or at least entertaining, but it became so clichéd and generic and utterly forgettable and that there is no reason at all to waste your time with this mess of a film. There are plenty of `buddy comedies' (regardless of what you think, that's exactly what this is) out there today that are leagues ahead of this one.
Just think; you haven't heard of this movie before, right?
There's a reason for that.
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Heart Condition
Available from Amazon
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