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Private Resort
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by Sony Pictures
Sales Rank: 22648
Price: $14.95
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Bikinis, breasts, and Johnny Depp's bare bottom are the selling points of archetypal teen sex comedy <I>Private Resort</I>. The plot has the purity of haiku: Two horny young men (Depp, <I>Pirates of the Caribbean</I>, <I>Edward Scissorhands</I>, and Rob Morrow, <I>Northern Exposure</I>, in his film debut) doggedly pursue scantily-clad women at a tropical vacation spot. Standing in their way are a bitter hotel detective and a jewel thief known as the Maestro (Hector Elizondo, <I>Pretty Woman</I>)--though his claim of mastery seems an overstatement; anyone expecting <I>To Catch a Thief</I> or <I>The Thomas Crown Affair</I>-style suavity will be sadly disappointed. Babes are ogled; breasts are exposed; bald middle-aged men are mocked as buffoons; and both Depp and Morrow strip naked, revealing pale posteriors--and, in Depp's case, a scrawny physique that would mortify any contemporary teen star. While this can't be called one of Depp's more nuanced performances, his trademark bemused nonchalance is already present in larval form. Ironically, given Depp's later reputation for soulfulness, Morrow is the sincere one who yearns for a sweet young waitress, while Depp is the cad who runs after anything with breasts (he refers to quaaludes as "the love drug" and "falls in love" with a girl who bends over in front of him in an aerobics class). Also featuring Andrew "Dice" Clay (<I>The Adventures of Ford Fairlane</I>) and Leslie Easterbrook (beloved from the <I>Police Academy</I> series). Discriminating cineastes will be happy to hear that <I>Private Resort</I> has been letterboxed, so the full frame of every shot can be fully appreciated. <I>--Bret Fetzer</I>
Viewer Reviews
A very accurate testament to the 18 year old boy's mind, this movie's best feature is a shot of Johnny Depp's naked rear-end. It's one of those classically bad 80's movies that's filled with funny cliches (you will roll your eyes), corny characters, and an unpredictable and surprisingly complete plot makes you finish watching.
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Private Resort
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