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Blackwoods
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by Velocity Home Entertainment/Im
Sales Rank: 31789
Price: $48.99
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Uwe Boll. Let me repeat the name again: Uwe Boll. Ever heard of him? You will soon if you haven't yet because this German chap is quickly racking up a filmography that many moviegoers compare to the legendary Ed Wood of "Plan 9 From Outer Space" and "Glen or Glenda" fame. The mere mention of this "filmmaker" sends shivers down the spines of any self-respecting horror film fans. When spoken aloud, the name has an effect not unlike holy water tossed on a vampire. Those of us familiar with his oeuvre--the screeching banality that bears the name "House of the Dead," the airbag deploying atrocity that is "Alone In the Dark," the war crime called "Bloodrayne"--cannot long endure the idea that Uwe Boll will continue to make horror movies. We can't. We would rather shove bamboo shoots soaked in iodine under our own fingernails than see another Boll theatrical release. When I rented "Blackwoods" and discovered our man of the hour directed it, I lost all control over my faculties and instantaneously assumed a fetal position that, oddly enough, lasted for over seven hours. Then I watched the movie. I expected an experience akin to an overdose of cough syrup. I was, incredibly enough, wrong. <br /> <br />"Blackwoods" stars Patrick Muldoon as Matt Sullivan, an arrogant cad who heads off with his girlfriend Dawn (Keegan Connor Tracy) to some godforsaken backwoods town in order to meet her family. It's all rather mundane stuff here at the beginning, aside from a few disturbing flashbacks where we learn about Matt's involvement in a drunken car accident that took the life of a girl. We see Matt and Dawn stop off at a diner for food, watch as Dawn hides in the backseat of the car when Sheriff William Harding (Michael Pare in a "strictly for the paycheck" role) pulls the two over for a minor infraction. Why does Dawn hide from the cop? Why does Harding act strangely when he sees Matt? Why, when our two lovebirds check into a hotel for a romp in the sack, does Dawn seemingly disappear into thin air? What happened to her? Does her disappearance have something to do with the axe-wielding stranger who breaks into the hotel room? Maybe the metaphysically weird motel manager, Greg (Clint Howard), knows more than he's letting on? So many questions to keep us watching! One thing's for certain: Matt's sense of confusion keeps pace with the expanding strangeness of his circumstances. <br /> <br />Unfortunately for Monsieur Sullivan, events take a turn for the worse when he finally meets up with Dawn's family. The Franklin clan--led by Pa (Matthew Walker), Ma (Janet Wright), and their two sons Jack (Sean Campbell) and John (Ben Derrick)--appear to have a serious beef with Matt. Why, you ask? Well, it's got something to do with all those pesky questions I posed above. It's also got something to do with those nagging flashbacks involving that traffic fatality a few years previous. Let's just say the Franklin family blames our hero for a tragic loss, one that these backwoods folks plan on avenging in a most gruesome manner. Before he knows it, Matt Sullivan is racing through the woods trying to stay one step ahead of Jack and John. His very life depends on him keeping his cool. Sadly, maintaining his composure proves impossible as director Boll finally draws back the curtain and reveals the full details of the plot. It seems that accident had a greater effect on Matt than we previously thought, enough of an effect to blur the very line between reality and insanity. Yep, "Blackwoods" is one of those twisty-turny flicks that try to mess with our minds by questioning what we think we know all the way to the shocking end. <br /> <br />The film isn't bad at all considering it's an Uwe Boll production. Sure, the budget is low. And the terror that unleashed "House of the Dead" and "Alone in the Dark" on the world tries to mix things up by relying heavily on the all too annoying MTV style stop-motion effects that have been done to death over the past few years. Throw in some mighty thin acting and a lack of gory carnage and you'd think "Blackwoods" wouldn't be worth a gob of spit. I could go that way, could label the movie a forgettable piece of schmaltz since it's amazingly easy to bash anything carrying the Uwe Boll imprimatur, but I don't really want to. I sort of liked the movie--enough to give it a solid three stars, and that's saying something for a number from a guy who thought casting Tara Reid as an anthropologist was a good idea. Call me a sucker for reality-bending films. More likely, I appreciated the fact that Herr Uwe allows Clint Howard to give full vent to his talent for creating genuinely weird and creepy characters. Greg is a truly warped creature, yet provides most of the film's memorable moments. Too bad casting Clint in "House of the Dead" didn't work as well. <br /> <br />Hey, look at all the extras! There aren't any! No trailers, no commentary tracks, no behind the scenes face to face with the cast and crew, no interviews with anyone even remotely involved with the creation of this low budget film. The disc doesn't even contain a stills gallery or biographies. The absence of any supplements usually means one of two things in the world of DVD: the picture you're watching is public domain (I've seen a lot of spaghetti westerns this way) or the movie in question stinks to high heaven. Neither seems to be the case here, although opinions may vary on the latter point. Anyway, I must remember this film the next time I'm watching one of Boll's clunkers. He is, apparently and amazingly, capable of crafting something that doesn't make me feel like slipping into a coma. Imagine that!
Viewer Reviews
Gives you a dark look directly into the mind of insanity....AWESOME! Saw this years ago and had a hard time finding it again to show my husband. He loved it.
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Blackwoods
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