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Kickboxer (Spanish)
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by Lions Gate
Sales Rank: 121622
Price: $9.98
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The Jean Claude Van Damme Review Matrix (JCVD-RM) <br /> <br />1.Who is he? Kurt Sloane, hapless corner man for his brother Eric Sloan, hapless kickboxer <br />2.Which family member/friend must be avenged? His brother gets pummeled into a paraplegic, and his new girlfriend gets rapedboth by the same guy <br />3.Does he take his shirt off? He's topless throughout nearly the entire movie. <br />4.Does he have sex with a C-List actress? I'm not even sure if she's C-List, and I'm not totally sure JCVD got past first-base <br />5.Is there a tournament? Yes, but JCVD makes it straight into the championship match. <br />6.Is training needed for this tournament? Training constitutes the majority of this movie. He kicks a defenseless bamboo tree to somehow strengthen (and not fracture) his leg, and does calisthenics with a backdrop of historic ruins, screaming eagles, and warrior spirits. The majority of the training, however, well <br />7.Does he do the splits in training or in the tournament? Not only does he do the splits, but he's involved in some sort of sadomasochistic, palm tree pulley system of groin torture that goes beyond actual splits. Such an important concept to this movie, I think "The Splits" is listed as a co-star on the official DVD. <br />8.Does he punch someone in the balls? No, but his heel goes Achilles tendon deep into Tong Po's colon - that's enough. <br />9.Does he do a series of flying or 360 kicks? Only at every possible opportunity. <br />10.Is his enemy unbeatable? Tong Po is not only unbeatable, but his shin bones have been surgically replaced with iron rods. <br />11.Does he overcome an injury or other hindrance? Yes, his brother is held hostage by Tong Po's people, and Kurt is told to enter the fight without defending himself. On top of that, he learns mid-fight from Tong Po raped his girl. <br />12.Does he win? Through sheer willpower, and the most telegraphed collection of blows in fighting history, he somehow prevails. <br /> <br />This is the funniest of all JCVD movies. The stretching torture, the underwater kicking scene during training, the German Sheppard, the hokey choreography, the pointless jive-talking black guy, the absolutely hysterical lack of defense from Tong Po during the final battle, laughable acting, and a genius dancing scene reminiscent of his appearance in Breakin' all make for a gem. If you like JCVD, cheesy martial arts movies, or a good night of MST3K, pick this one up for an entertaining night.
Viewer Reviews
Kickboxer figures as one of the most exciting and legendary martial films of a very young by then Van Damme.
His elder brother travel to Thailand for defending the title, being the Western champion in this category. But what both ignore is what the will find in that arena. His brother will have to face a sadistic and ruthless fighter who will play dirty, leaving him crippled.
This dramatic fact will make Van Damme encourages and trains with all the rigorousness and maxim discipline with a curious old master, an exotic and sympathetic shaman who will prepare him with wise lessons of life too.
The arresting landscapes of Thailand conform an additional frame of reference, although the predictability of the script. Because the fact twenty years have elapsed it's time to set this entertained and dynamic film in its right place and bringing it back its status cult. It deserves it.
Don't miss it!.
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Kickboxer (Spanish)
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